Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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