this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for