Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

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  (914): he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped. http://tfl.nu/0vpq
  Replies (5) Good night (3412) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

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  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3422) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

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  (903): Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything. http://tfl.nu/euxa
  Replies (9) Good night (5263) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?

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  (407): Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume? http://tfl.nu/7evx
  Replies (10) Good night (2843) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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  (720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands... http://tfl.nu/51q8
  Replies (25) Good night (1259) Bad night (3917) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics

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  (818): Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics http://tfl.nu/kq58
  Replies (44) Good night (1522) Bad night (4225) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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  (613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56
  Replies (29) Good night (5662) Bad night (1278) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now

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  (917): He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now http://tfl.nu/4db9
  Replies (31) Good night (9455) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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  (573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa
  Replies (12) Good night (1514) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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  (914): The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off http://tfl.nu/j2wh
  Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.

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  (650): I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night. http://tfl.nu/uq34
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.

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  (914): I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status. http://tfl.nu/koi8
  Replies (1) Good night (226) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY

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  (425): Sexual Frustration City, population: Me. (423): I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY http://tfl.nu/7zd6
  Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (434)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.

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  (304): Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle. http://tfl.nu/n2vr
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt

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