Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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