Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
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I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades