We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
