y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
