My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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