So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize