I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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