porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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