I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
