I just saw a hot homeless man
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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