At least make sure they are 18
Why
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My bed smells like the plague
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