So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize