when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
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he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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