So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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