Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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