In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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