I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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