um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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