we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...