Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?