Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.