We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.