I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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