It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
