It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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