There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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