I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
