im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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