Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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