I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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