no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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