The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"