Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
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Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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