I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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