I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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