so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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