you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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