Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?