so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Damn victory sex feels great
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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