I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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