Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
