I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize