She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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