ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Randomize