how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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