i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Who died my cat blue again?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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