dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my poor anus
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
