I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
