Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
