See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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