i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
